Terms of Service & Bureau Notices
The guidelines governing your use of the National Porch Goose Registry, outfit calculators, and novelty adoption certificates.
1. Humorous Novelty & Parody Project Notice
PorchGoose.org (“The National Porch Goose Registry” and “Dept. of Municipal Waterfowl & Veranda Standards”) is an independent, humorous novelty and parody community project and DIY sewing/crochet sizing resource created for fans of decorative front-porch and desk goose statues.
PorchGoose.org is not a government agency, municipal department, or official regulatory body. All “Census Serial Numbers,” “Official Adoption Certificates,” and “Sworn Neighborhood Watch Oaths” generated on this site are commemorative novelty keepsakes created strictly for entertainment and front-porch fun.
2. Trademark & Nominative Fair-Use Disclaimer
PorchGoose.org is an independent community registry and DIY sizing resource. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by Costco Wholesale Corporation, Evergreen Enterprises, Miles Kimball (Gaggleville), Starbucks Corporation, the National Football League (NFL), or any third-party brand mentioned on this website.
All third-party product names, retail model designations (such as references to the 23.6" Costco Metal Goose, item #1934041), and trademarks are the property of their respective owners and are used strictly under nominative fair use for garment size-compatibility identification and pattern grading.
3. FTC & Amazon Associates Affiliate Disclosure
As an Amazon Associate and affiliate partner, PorchGoose.org may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases made through links on this site at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support the hosting and maintenance of our free sizing calculators, pattern guides, and community registry.
4. User Submissions & Community Conduct
Users may generate adoption certificates, share outfit recommendations, or submit geese to the public census. By using these features, you agree not to submit:
- Content that is defamatory, obscene, harassing, hateful, or unlawful.
- Infringing intellectual property or unauthorized private information of third parties.
- Automated spam or harmful scripts.
We reserve the right to remove any census entry or certificate listing that violates these terms or conflicts with the wholesome, family-friendly spirit of the front-porch goose community.
5. Disclaimer of Warranties & Limitation of Liability
All materials, calculators, fit recommendations, and certificates are provided on an “as is” and “as available” basis without warranties of any kind. While our sizing measurements are meticulously calculated based on real goose molds, individual manufacturer production runs may vary slightly.
To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, PorchGoose.org and its operators disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from your use of this site.
6. Questions & Bureau Contact
If you have questions regarding these Terms of Service or need assistance, please contact us directly: