NATIONAL PORCH GOOSE REGISTRY • UNITED STATES VERANDA CENSUS
Department of Municipal Waterfowl & Neighborhood Watch Standards
CENSUS RECORD #PG-00001
This Certifies That Resident Sentinel
Goose-tavo Fring
Statutory Model / Breed Costco 23.6" Metal Goose
Stationed Municipality Albuquerque, NM
Temperament Classification Stoic HOA Enforcer
Authorized Regalia Kirkland Signature Hoodie
Sworn Veranda Watch Oath:“I solemnly swear to stand motionless on the front porch in Albuquerque, NM, silently auditing uneven lawn edging while dressed in my Kirkland Signature Hoodie. No solicitor shall pass un-honked.”
Honksworth J. Featherby
Chief Registrar • Issued 2026-11-01
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OFFICIAL GOLD SEAL
Registered at PorchGoose.org
Regalia: Kirkland Signature Hoodie
FIG 1. OFFICIAL PORTRAIT PORCHGOOSE.ORG